OMG. I cannot believe Brother Mustafa has dyed his beard such a dark purple. Has he even looked in the mirror? I seen him at the Maghrib prayer and I swear to Allah subhanwathalah, he left purple stains on the carpet. I don’t understand why his wife, Sister Mousumi, doesn’t step in. I wanted to tell her at the spice shop. She was buying truckloads of turmeric and I was thinking she would be better off if the beard was stained yellow. Can you imagine coming off a plane, getting into a taxi and seeing Brother Mustafa smiling at you with that beard? I really hope, for his sake, that the colour fades quick.
What is it with that brother from the Arab animal appreciation society dressed in a bear suit hanging around out the front of our mosque? I’m all for giving Zakat to needy causes, but people, there are no bears in the desert. Polar bears live in the cold. It’s not like during your next trip to Dubai, you go on a day trip and ride a bear, do you? Couldn’t you find a camel or a giraffe?
Don’t get me wrong- I love our African brothers and sisters. I even brought Brother Jamal from South Sudan some of my rice pudding the other day. He told me when he first migrated and moved to Victoria Heights he just loved the Bangladeshi sweets in the local shops. But this week at Friday prayer, I see him taking more rice pudding from Sister Sohaili. I’m not one to get jealous, but he could have at least thanked me. I’ve had Sohaili’s desserts and she thinks she’s all that cos she does a diet variety. How can it taste good without sugar? Those Sudanese are so tall, black and thin anyway- why do they need to be on a diet for?
Khadija is a married, young Bangladeshi woman who lives in a metropolitan suburb of a Western country. She files her gossip column most weeks after Friday prayer.